Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
