Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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