Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
