john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize