the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
