the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
