just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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