I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
