dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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