You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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