4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
