Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
