U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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