gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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