she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
