She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
