He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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