is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
