I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize