i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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