you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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