sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
