Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You are the jesus of drinking
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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