I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
