I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He has the fingertips of a God
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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