Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
