I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
