Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
