careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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