Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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