That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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