sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
