Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
