I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
