in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
You dont lie about slip and slides
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
