guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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