Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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