i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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