Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
