He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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