The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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