awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
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Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
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For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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