oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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