please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'm just crazy horny about you
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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