So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
