please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
