9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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