i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
