Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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