I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
