Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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