She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize