i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize
