She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
