I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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