oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize