i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
the raccoons are back...
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