also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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