Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
