I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
