I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
