I wannas sexs uuuuu
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
