arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
