Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
